Episode 35 - Advice From a Relationship Coach
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Episode Summary
What actually makes a relationship last once the wedding day is over? In this episode of The Secret Society of Brides, a UK wedding podcast, Georgie sits down with dating and relationship coach and author Persia Lawson for a candid, wide-ranging conversation about trust, infidelity and the habits that keep a marriage strong for the long run.
They talk about why people cheat, and why 'boring' relationships rather than exciting ones are often the more vulnerable, practical ways to build individual identity and shared community into a marriage, and an unusual two-day wedding structure that let one couple celebrate differently with two different groups of guests. Persia also shares the strange series of coincidences that led her to meet, and eventually marry, her own husband. The episode closes with a listener's genuinely tricky dilemma about an ex, an in-law and a wedding guest list.
It's an honest, sometimes very frank episode for anyone who wants a marriage that's as strong as their wedding day is beautiful.
Key Takeaways
The relationships most at risk of infidelity often aren't the dramatic ones, but the ones that have quietly slipped into routine.
Keep your own identity. Your own friendships, interests and time apart make a marriage stronger, not weaker.
Be like the pillars of a temple: stand together, but not so close that you lose yourselves.
Build a shared community around your relationship: people who know you both and want you to succeed.
Not every guest needs to be at every part of your wedding. A two-day wedding can let you celebrate with different groups in different ways.
Guest-list dilemmas involving exes and family are best handled with an honest conversation early, not left until the day.
Episode FAQs
Why do people cheat in relationships?
People cheat for many reasons, but relationship coaches commonly point to unmet needs, a loss of novelty and connection, poor communication and a weakened sense of self rather than simply a lack of love. Relationships that have drifted into routine without either partner noticing can be particularly vulnerable. Regular honest conversations, continued effort and keeping curiosity about each other alive are among the most protective habits a couple can build.
How do you keep a marriage strong after the wedding?
Strong marriages tend to combine closeness with independence. Make time for each other deliberately, keep talking openly about what you both need, and protect your individual friendships, interests and goals so neither of you loses your identity. Surrounding your relationship with a supportive community of friends and family, and continuing to try new things together, helps keep the connection fresh long after the wedding day.
What is a two-day wedding?
A two-day wedding spreads the celebration across consecutive days, often with a more formal ceremony and meal for close family and friends on the first day and a relaxed party, brunch or festival-style gathering on the second. It lets couples celebrate with different groups of guests in different ways, take the pressure off a single packed timeline, and enjoy more time with the people who have travelled to be there.
Should you invite an ex to your wedding?
There's no universal rule, but most couples only invite an ex if both partners are completely comfortable with it and the ex is a genuine part of their current life, for example through close shared friendships or family connections. If inviting an ex could cause tension for your partner or other guests, it's usually kinder to leave them off the list. Discuss it openly as a couple early in planning rather than deciding alone.