Episode 33 - What Children Want at Weddings
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Episode Summary
Every wedding with children on the guest list runs into the same questions: how many kids is too many, what do you actually feed them, and is it worth hiring a nanny? In this episode of The Secret Society of Brides, a UK wedding podcast, Georgie opens with the real history of the wedding veil before handing the mic to the person best placed to answer all of it — her own daughter.
They work through every wedding she's been to and what she does (and doesn't) remember from each one, the single rule that makes the biggest difference to whether kids actually enjoy the day, and exactly what should go in a kid's wedding-morning gift box if bridesmaids get one. There's an honest debate about hiring a wedding nanny, a very confident ruling on the "right" age to get married, and a fast-paced round of wedding what-ifs. The episode closes with a listener's real dilemma about whose name goes on the invitation when the in-laws only cover part of the cost.
It's a warm, funny episode that flips the usual wedding-planning advice on its head — for anyone trying to make their day work for the smallest guests on the list too.
Key Takeaways
Give kids a real job at the wedding (running a station, taking photos, being "in charge" of something) rather than just keeping them occupied — it gives them purpose, not just distraction.
A kid's wedding-morning box doesn't need to look different from an adult's: a games book, an order-of-the-day card so they know what's happening when, and their own drinkware go a long way.
A wedding nanny is only worth it if they're genuinely good with kids — a disengaged hire can be worse than no childcare at all.
Young children usually won't remember the wedding itself, but that's not the point: the photos and moments are for the parents to keep, not for the child to recall later.
If you're worried about a child being overwhelmed by a loud reception (drunk guests, dancing, dry ice), build in a designated safe, quiet space they can go to.
When parents split wedding costs unevenly, both sets of names can go on the invitation — list whoever contributed more first rather than leaving anyone off entirely.
Episode FAQs
Should kids be at weddings?
There's no universal right answer — it depends on the child, the venue, and how much thought goes into keeping them engaged. The clearest advice from this episode is that kids do best when they're given something purposeful to do rather than just entertained passively, and when there's a quiet, designated space they can retreat to if the evening gets overwhelming.
What should go in a kid's wedding-morning gift box?
Treat it the same way you'd treat an adult bridesmaid box: something to do (a games or activity book), something practical (a reusable water bottle or cup), and something that tells them what's happening and when, like a simple order-of-the-day card. Keep it proportionate to your budget — none of it needs to be expensive to land well.
Is it worth hiring a nanny for your wedding day?
It can be, but only if you find someone genuinely good with children rather than just present. A nanny who actively plays with kids and keeps them engaged makes a real difference; a disengaged one can leave children feeling more bored and unsupervised than if there'd been no nanny at all.
How do you handle uneven cost contributions on the wedding invitation?
Both contributing sets of parents can be named on the invitation, even if one paid significantly more than the other — the etiquette isn't to leave anyone off, but to list whoever contributed more first. It keeps the invitation accurate without excluding anyone who helped make the day happen.
Will young children even remember being at your wedding?
Often, no — and that's fine. The value of including them isn't really about what they'll recall later; it's about the experience for them in the moment, and the photos and memories the parents get to keep. Plan for the day itself, not for whether it'll be remembered years later.